Walker,
Five short months ago you came in to my life and I'll never forget how I felt when I first saw you. I always knew I wanted you, I always knew I would love you.. however what I didn't know is how much of an imprint you would make on me in such a short time. Before you were born your dad & I talked about you and wondered who you would be and if you would look like me, or him, or a mix of both! We prayed hard that God send us a healthy baby when it was his time. I knew in my heart that I was so ready and I wanted a baby so bad, but you were worth the wait and that God was saving you for us.When we found out we were pregnant I just cried tears of joy and thanked him over and over again. I really couldn't believe that you were mine and I was yours. Feeling your little kicks was the most amazing feeling and brought so much excitement. I remember you would always kick your daddy in the back at night because that's when you were most active. Being pregnant with you in the beginning was so easy! You never made me sick, you gave me a glow, and I craved healthy foods. When I was nearing the end is when it became tough. I would feel like giving up and cry because I was so exhausted and miserable because I was so swollen and big. Thinking of you gave me strength. I knew I had to stick it out for you and push myself. In week 36 I was put on bed rest. That week was probably the toughest of them all. Even though I was at home I was bed ridden and not in control of my body whatsoever.
Finally, week 37 came and they induced me. You were extremely comfy in there, but my body was getting worse by the day. At 12:00 PM they took me in the back to get a C section. I'll be honest I was extremely scared and couldn't stop shaking. Your dad held my hand and told me that everything was going to be okay and that I needed to hold on for just a bit longer. Finally, on April 22 at 12:21 PM I heard you cry for the first time. I couldn't see you, but I could hear you and tears just started streaming down. I knew you were perfect in every way and when your dad held you and brought you over it made everything so worth it. I wish I could freeze time and go back to that day because it was the best day of my life.
Bringing you home was an adventure. We had to learn you and you had to learn us. It wasn't easy but we made it through the first few weeks. Your newborn stage was a blur, but what I do know is that I loved being your mom and the sleepless nights were all worth it when you would just cuddle and lay on my chest. I could just stare at you for hours and be completely content. I spent many days just me and you and I loved every bit of it. April came and went, so did May and June. July hit me like a ton of bricks. July meant it was time to go back to work. Leaving you was so hard. I wasn't ready yet, but I knew I had to go back.
Since going back to work the months have flown by even faster. Now you are five months old and so much fun. You play with toys, smile all of the time, make the cutest noises, and now you are sitting up all by yourself. Watching you grow and learn has been so much fun. I know you will be crawling soonish and even walking by next year. I love that you enjoy the outdoors and want to explore already. I hope you never lose your sense of wonder! You and your dad are my world and I couldn't imagine my life without you. You have changed me in so many ways and have given me the gift of patience. However, the best gift of all is being your mommy. Everyday I look forward to greeting you with a good morning and getting the biggest smile, I look forward to cuddling you at night after your bottle when you are super drowsy and being all sweet. I know these moments won't last for long. You won't always want me to hold you, or cuddle with at night. Just know that I am always here. I'll always be your mom and I'll always love you unconditionally.
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| "The best day" |
Thank you for choosing me.
Love,
Your Mom.
