Friday, May 22, 2015

Life as a new mom// One month old

Holy cow... blogging these days seems to be impossible. If I am not taking care of the baby I am either trying to catch up on laundry, the house, and catching up on my Z'sssss too. Instead of my cat nap I thought I would update my blog and fill everyone in on how life is as a new mom.

There are so many words to describe being a mom to a one month old. Exhausted & excited would be my main two. Not one persons advice or comments can prepare you for motherhood. You have to actually experience it for yourself and let me tell you... it's nothing like the advice I received on a daily basis while pregnant. Yes, the whole you won't sleep again is pretty much true. But my son has his own personality and I had to learn him and his cries. We have our own little routine down and it's going pretty good. He sleeps maybe 4 hours at a time at night and is now eating 4 ounces. He loves bath time and isn't too fond of diaper changes (but what child is)? He is still trying to determine if he likes tummy time or not and I'm still trying to determine if I like coffee enough to drink throughout the day. Motherhood has made me dip my toes to drinking coffee, but nothing crazy. I shower every other day now and my hair is always up. I feel like I'm working against a ticking time bomb when I get ready and he could cry out of a deep sleep any second. Being on time to anything is a joke and I have to get ready two hours before I have to be somewhere. I was pretty proud of myself for making it early to my sister in law's baby shower that started at 10 am. I started getting us ready at 7:30. You never know these days... my son usually has a blow out or spits up on himself right when we are about to walk out the door. Being a mom is so rewarding though despite all of the stressful/sleepless nights. All of the sweet snuggles and him just looking at me make it all worth it. I'm so loving being his momma and I'm dreading going back to work. I don't want  to imagine leaving my Son for 8 hours or more a day. I love being by his side every minute of the day. Don't get me wrong.. I do go out without him and let my mom or my mother in law watch him, but after a few hours I'm so ready to be home and kiss his cheeks a million times.

Now on to Walker James! One month ago I was holding him in my arms for the first time. That seriously feels like yesterday. Time has flown and although I'm sad he's not in his cute little newborn clothes anymore I am so excited to watch him grow and learn. Here are a little fun facts about him.

  • Absolutely loves bath time
  • HATES being changed whether it's his diaper or his outfit
  • Screams bloody murder being put in his carrier, but falls asleep once we get in the car every single time
  • Sleeps 4 hours at a time at night
  • Is now eating 4 ounces
  • LOVES to snuggle and cries sometimes when he figures out I put him down
  • Becoming more alert and looks at me while I talk to him

Walker James Ward, you are my greatest adventure and I'm so humbled you picked me to be your mommy. I love you more than anything and this first month with you has been the best. You're such a sweet boy and I look forward to watching you achieve all of life's little milestones.

"Love that gummy smile"

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Sunday, May 3, 2015

Walker James Ward // 4.22.15

Well, I have been MIA for a while now. Since having Walker my weeks have flown by and I can't find the time for literally anything. It's honestly a miracle when I get ready and get us out of the house. It's 5 in the morning and I'm watching little man. For some reason my eyes aren't fighting to stay open so I decided to share a little bit of my birth story. I'm sure I won't finish this this post today, but in between naps I can write a tad bit more.

 At 37 weeks and 1 day I had a doctors appointment and thought it would be the same thing where they take my BP which was high, check my urine which had protein in it, do a non-stress test on Walker, make me another appointment for the week, and send me home. However this appointment was different. I woke up with blurred vision and let the doctor know. My BP was getting worse and my swelling was terrible. I could barely get around and I was so miserable. My doctor didn't feel comfortable keeping me on bed rest any longer because my preeclampsia was getting severely worse. He told me to go home and get my bags packed because he wanted me back in the hospital for induction at 7:00 PM that night. My husband and I were so excited. Even though I was on bed rest I had Dakota take me to the mall because I needed some cute PJ's for the hospital. The time seemed to go literally so dang slow. I had everything packed and I was just watching the clock. Before we headed back to the hospital Dakota and I had a last date at Moe's. It was what I was craving and I knew it would keep me full for a while since the hospital wouldn't let me eat anything. During dinner Dakota and I just kept saying how much our lives were about to change and how excited we were. That this would be the last time we can go out just us and not have to worry about arranging a baby sitter.

Once we checked in the nurse took us to our room. I changed into my gown and got comfy in the bed and Dakota slept on the pull out couch. My mom met us up there and she stayed with me the entire time. They started my IV & gave me some medicine at 8:00 that helps soften my cervix. I would be given this medicine every 4 hours until I was softened enough to start the Pitocin. I didn't sleep at all that night. I was hurting and just really uncomfortable. I tried my hardest to just close my eyes and relax, but in all honesty I couldn't relax. I was super excited, anxious, nervous, really every emotion. After 4 hours went by the nurse checked me and I had softened at all. She gave me another round and a little bit after that my BP sky rocketed and they had to put me on a magnesium drip through my IV which stung the ENTIRE time. It was time to check me again and still no luck. She called my doctor because my BP wasn't going down from the magnesium and I wasn't softening at all. Around 10:00 AM the next morning my doctor walked in and let me know that it wasn't looking good for me. If we kept going the route I had been in for the last 12 hours then I would probably be in labor for another day. He told me that with my sever preeclampsia that I needed to have a C section, but that it was totally up to me. Dakota and I discussed it once he left the room and I was in complete horror. I was so afraid of a C section and from the very beginning of the pregnancy I told him that I did not want to get one. I sucked it up because I was already exhausted and Walker was going to get stressed out.

At 12:00 PM they wheeled me back to the Operating Room. Only Dakota was aloud back there with me. After they gave me the epidural I laid on the bed thinking holy crap.. I'm about to meet my Son. I was so scared and couldn't feel a thing, but my arms. They didn't let Dakota come in until I was all prepped and ready. Even though I was drugged up and loopy I remember looking at him and thinking that he was going to make the most incredible father. As I was locked eyes with him I told him that I loved him and he held my hand. I could smell the flesh burning and them tugging and pulling on my skin. It didn't hurt, but it was a tremendous amount of pressure. At 12:21 PM on April 22nd I heard my Son cry for the first time. I couldn't see him, but I could hear him and tears started rolling down my face. It was such a surreal moment. I wasn't able to see him until they cleaned him up. Dakota brought him over to me and there we were.. a family of three. Walker was absolutely beautiful and I thanked God then and there. We was a healthy 7 pounds and 9 ounces and 20.5 inches long. I kissed him on the forehead and they took him back while they sewed me back up.

In the recovery room they brought him to me and I got to hold him for the firs time. He was mine and I was forever his. My heart melted and still melts every time that I look at him. The nurses helped and showed me how to breastfeed him. I was on cloud nine. Dakota and I got an hour with just us and it flew by. Everyone was out in the waiting room just itching to meet him. Since I had a C section they only let a few people in at a time. I don't really remember all who came to see him, but it was overwhelming. That night my recovery was not good at all. I kept throwing up and I couldn't even eat ice chips. I was so hungry and hadn't eaten since the night before and wasn't able to eat until the next afternoon.

We were in the hospital from Tuesday night until Friday afternoon. The nurses there were amazing and answered all of my questions. We are all home now and even though I am sleep deprived I am loving every minute of it. My Son and husband are my absolute world and I couldn't be more blessed. I don't go back to work until July and until then I am soaking up all the time I can with him. My little man is almost two weeks old!!
"First time holding him"
"My two favorite guys"

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