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Monday, February 3, 2014

Patience is a virtue

So, it has been a long time since I have written on my blog! A lot has happened and life plans have changed. Last time I wrote on my blog I had a checklist and one of them was about Gulf Power. This blog is basically me venting because it makes me feel better :)

 Very shortly after writing that I received an e-mail from human resources saying my application was accepted and that I needed to make an appointment to take the CSR (customer service rep) and pass before I can interview. Long story short I studied my butt off and when I got to the testing center and started to take it I was completely lost. Nothing I had studied off of the southerncompany website was on that test. It has weird questions like how to read a meter and how many kilowatts are there per square footage of a 3 bedroom 2 bath house. Like really? How am I supposed to know this stuff and why do I need to know? First off, isn't that what training is for? And secondly, I am pretty positive you don't need that information when working in a call center. So obviously I did not pass the test or get an interview. After I got up and left the testing center I went and cried in my car like a little baby feeling sorry for myself and why me. I had been looking forward to this job opportunity for a very long time and prayed about it. I mean I applied for the position the very beginning of November. I think what hit me the most is that I had so many future plans with getting this job. Dakota and I could have awesome health benefits and I would bring in more money and we wouldn't have to live paycheck to paycheck. The most important thing I was looking forward to was a baby.

After finally swallowing all of this sadness and depression down I woke up one morning and put myself back together again so to speak. I realized that I needed God to guide me and started to pray for patience and direction. I know God has a plan for me and Gulf Power just wasn't it. I have prayed for patience before but this time I feel that God has really gotten through to me and my thick skull that having a baby is not what I should be focused on and that it is not my time. Before when I found out that girls my age are getting pregnant I would ball my eyes out. Now I am actually happy for them and I am not bitter at all. I follow along with their pregnancy journey and watch as the momma and baby grow. For the first time I am helping throw a baby shower and I am actually excited about it. I am so happy for the momma because she has struggled so much trying to get pregnant. Dakota and I had planned on starting to try to get pregnant May 1st, but then I realized that if we did that then I would be due in Feb. That is three months before my graduation date and I don't want that kind of stress. I still want to get pregnant this year, just not until fall. I was thinking maybe starting in September but nothing is set in stone yet.

My education is what I am focused on and what is most important. I know that if I just keep going then I will eventually get done! I am just ready to graduate and start a family with my sweet husband. Patience is something I don't have, but I am learning how to deal. I just take it day by day and pray to God that I can keep up the positive attitude. My sister has a friend who just had a baby back in December and wants to know if I can watch her 1-2 days a week. I think this will be really good for me because I will get my baby fix and I can really see how it would be with school and a baby. I call it another form of birth control! ;)

Well, I feel better after that vent session!
Until next time, Lexi :)